A Phony

I decided last night that I am a fraud. Yep, that's right, me = a fraud. After I heated up a can of red pepper and lentil soup for my son's dinner last night, and later packed the leftovers for his lunch the next day, I realized how official and homemade the soup looked. And then it occurred to me that his teachers at school must think his mom (that's me!) sends him good, nutritious, homemade lunches every day. That's when it hit me - I am a phony, a fake. I really have to get it together, I decided, after my sudden revelation. Maybe I could squeeze in some impromptu cooking time after my son was in bed. Yes, that could work - right after the laundry and right before bottle washing. Or wait, wasn't that the only twenty minutes of "me" time I had allotted myself for the day? Hmmm. Maybe I'd have to keep up the facade of Chef Mama for a few more days. Yeah, that sounded like the best plan. I'd have to rework our schedule to arrange for more cooking time later in the week...

Love

Last night, I watched my son sleep. His perfect little face. So exquisitely perfect. I hugged him. I smelled him. I couldn't stop watching him. Magic. He's magical this little boy. So freakin' precious. I can't believe it at times. So freakin' wonderful. I couldn't imagine this sort of love before I felt it. I couldn't know what this would feel like. Looking at him makes me want to burst into pieces, at times to explode. He's so amazing. And he's mine. My little boy. I feel like the luckiest mom in the world...