Single-parent households: Are they that bad?

I was at a volunteer arts day yesterday working on art projects with kids between 8-10 years old. The coordinator said something during the introduction to the volunteers that struck a chord with me. It was something along the lines of "these kids don't get to do stuff like this everyday - many come from single-parent households". Now, I do understand that often times in a single-parent household the mother works and doesn't usually have as much time to spend working on random projects and activities with the kid(s) compared to say a stay at home mom. But, why the constant stereotype that says: if a kid is raised by a single-parent they are worse off? What about the two-parent households that have two working parents? Or where there are other problems taking place? Aren't those worse off? Yes, I work Monday - Friday which means my son spends about 9 hours at daycare everyday. Yes, I wish I had more time during the week to play with him and work on "art" projects. BUT I do have evenings and weekends. And I do spend time playing with paint and crayons, taking my son to museums and play areas, reading to him, talking to him, teaching him. I really don't think we spend less time on these things compared to other families. I know raising a kid in a single-parent household is not ideal, I get that - I know the struggle. But it really isn't the worse thing that could happen. It doesn't mean that my son is at a disadvantage. Yes, it could mean that, but it doesn't have to. And in the case of my son and I - it is not the case. My son has family other than myself, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles. He has many people to spend time teaching him things and working on projects with him. I really hope he is not seen as a kid with a disadvantage or that people feel sorry for him. Because despite, not having his father around, my son is a very lucky boy and will not go without. My little boy will have lots of time to spend working on art projects. Unless, of course, he decides playing sports or singing is a lot more fun....(I could have given birth to the next Kobe or Ne-yo!).  ;)

Two Faces in One

Driving Sebastian to daycare this morning. Listening to Goapale. Lost in thought. Trying to find a parking space. Thinking I should have left the car at home and strolled us to school this particular morning. I look in the rearview mirror to see what Sebastian is up to in the back seat. I see his little head bobbing to the music and his little face grinning wide at me. I immediately start laughing. He starts laughing. But my laughter is cut short as tears begin streaming down my cheek, for suddenly I see Michael's face smiling and staring back at me and not Sebastian's. I'm caught off guard. I wasn't expecting to see two faces in one right then, to see Michael's face looking back at me right at that moment. Sebastian's face....Michael's face. Two faces in one. Sebastian continues to smile and giggle. I try to pretend my laughter never changed into cries. I smile back. I turn up the volume and watch my son's little spirally curls bounce around. I take a deep breath and decide we will park the car back at home and walk to school today. We, or rather I, need the fresh air.

Valentine's Day

My sweetest Valentine: Sebastian was extremely giddy and silly last night before bed. I think it was due to the sugar he devoured via a little, pink, Crumbs cupcake after dinner. Or it could have been his content over having received a balloon at school today. Either way, he was in a silly mood. We cuddled and read our special "love" edition books before bedtime - I Love You From Your Head to Your Toes & I'll Love You Forever. Then Sebastian got extremely silly and started giggling uncontrollably. The sweetest sound. And as sleep started to take way, he layed his little body on top of my chest and wrapped his little, slender arms around my neck and gave me the biggest hug. The SWEETEST feeling. What a magical moment. He hugged me tight while drifting off to sleep and occasionally I'd hear a little giggle from his sleeping self. I smiled. What a perfect little Valentine. :)

The wonderful snapshots in my head...

Sometimes I really wish the poloroid in my head would print out the amazing snapshots that I often capture. Like Saturday when I was making breakfast and turned to find my little guy dancing "like no one was watching" to The Mickey Mouse Club. Or a little later in the day when he was sitting on his playmat playing with one of his many interactive toys (throwing balls down a shoop) and suddenly wore a look of amusement when he figured the toy out. Or when I arrived at his school yesterday to see him happily running around with friends and light up as soon as he saw me walk in, as his fast little steps rushed over to me. Or today for instance, when I turned to walk out of his "classroom" and get one more look. He was sitting at the table, legs dangling, golden curls all over the place with a few spirals landing above his eyes, smiling giddily as he fed himsef breakfast with his little green spoon in his right hand and half a banana in his left hand. He excitedly managed to land the spoon full of oatmeal into his mouth and smiled proudly. I smiled back, extremely proud, waved and watched as he waved back with his little spoon in his hand and his mouth full of food. It was such a momentous image. One I kept at the forefront during my entire commute to work, wishing I could print it and share that exact moment and the pride that ensued.

16 Months

To: My Little Cub

I can't believe a week from today you will be 17 months old. Wow. Already? I can't believe when we measured you this morning that your little head reached the 33 inches mark. Your size 7 shoes seemed snug this morning. Your fall sweaters are now too short on the arms and waist. When did all this happen? You found your first Jordans yesterday, in your closet. I couldn't believe how tiny they were. Half the size of your current shoes. Were your feet ever really that small?! I no longer remember the days when your hands were curled into little fists. When did they change? You woke up in the middle of the night the other day and reached for me. You touched my face and layed your little head on my neck. I love that you are now capable of so much. That your affection is out of choice. My sweet little boy. Today you sat on the toilet (with the lid down) brushing your teeth, while I brushed mine at the sink. You sat there, with your legs dangling down, sucking on your toothbrush. I loved the way you smiled at me because you were happy that you had your own little brush. (Even though I had to re-brush them myself a few minutes later to make sure they were cleaned.) You now have almost a full mouth of teeth! Last count was 12! Molars and all. Now you can chomp, chomp, chomp. Although, you are still such a picky eater when it comes to the stuff you should be chomping. Sweets are your food/snack of choice. Your latest favs are: cookies, Cheerios (when Kix isn't an option), Teddy Grahams, peanut butter on multi-grain bread, blueberries, yogurt, brown rice with applesauce and black beans with rice (on most days). Last month you loved bananas and oranges but that seems to be a fad of the latter month. You no longer eat baby food - does this mean you are no longer a baby?! Ay. So many changes. You love to wear your winter boots, even if it means wearing them in the house. And you love your red, puffy winter coat from your godfather. Your favorite outift seems to be your fuzzy footie pjs. You LOVE these and will grab a pair from the hamper if you see one. You have a strange sock fetish that I don't quite get. If you see a pair laying around (yours or mine) you will immediately grab and walk around the house holding them close to you. Silly little guy. You don't like TV or cartoons much but will stop every now and then for your old time favs: Classical Baby, The Wiggles and your new fav: Mickey Mouse Club. You love music and to dance (it's in the genes). It's been about two months since you started crawling on and off my bed and silly me I thought it meant that you had skipped the phase of potentially falling off the bed since you can so easily get yourself off now. Wrong. Today, for the first time, you fell off the bed. :(  You cried for about two minutes while I held you close. I felt awful. It was my fault. I should have known better. But ultimately, you were okay. Just a little shaken up. No bumps, no bruises. Whew. I realized this morning while we were getting ready to leave that you can easily reach the window blinds & door knobs. A new set of safety locks need to be installed. Friday, I discovered you were able to reach the oven knobs (uh oh!). And yesterday I realized you can now reach things on the counter that are pushed away from the edge, maybe two inches back. It's funny to me how you quickly learned how to stretch, stretch and streeeetch those arms to get to what you want. I used to be able to leave you in the bed drinking your bottle while I shower. No longer the case. You now come running into the bathroom and play peek-a-boo with the shower curtain when I shower. (My already short showers have been cut to 2 minutes.) You thought it was silly this morning when I couldn't get my turtleneck over my head and made a ridiculous face while I pulled it over. You laughed and thought I meant to look funny. lol. Last week, we fell on a mountain of snow while trying to get to daycare. We laughed then too. You and I, cracking up, while we struggled to get up and regain our balance. I love that we can laugh at the silliest and yet not so silly moments. ;)

Can't wait to see what new discoveries are made this month...

Love,
Mama Bear

My Sunshine and Me

"What do you see when you look at this picture? I see love, fun, teamwork, happiness. [Months back] a picture like this, happy as it is, would have made me sad. I would have seen sadness, loss, something missing. Unexpectedly, I am finally able to see what is there instead of always focusing on what or who is not. It's huge. It also happened without me noticing the subtle difference." Michelle Dippel