When Your Child Has A Meltdown: And So Do You

My son tends to flip out pretty easily. I'm not quite sure why this is so. But it is. And he does. He has a pretty easygoing personality and is typically very mellow. However, every now and again he loses it and really flips. I'm finding as he gets older, the meltdowns are more dramatic. And I can't lie - they scare me. I've been fortunate so far that the meltdowns tend to occur only at home, when it's usually just he and I. It usually happens during dinner time and is usually because of something food related (although he can get pretty upset playing with toys (i.e. when he can't figure them out)). Last week it was because I gave him pizza with mushrooms. Turns out he doesn't like mushrooms (anymore). He grabbed his slice of pizza, while sitting in his high chair, tasted a mushroom, started to scream and cry (yes, there were tears involved) and threw the pizza across the room. A few weeks back it was because he wanted a donut from a box on the counter, which I had no idea he knew was there. He screamed, cried, threw himself on the floor and didn't stop until he had a donut in his hand. And even then, he was out of breath from the crying and it took him a few minutes to "calm down." Last night, as I attempted to serve him dinner (pasta with marinera sauce) he suddenly flipped out - threw the bowl and the spoon across the room and started screaming and crying and flailing his arms at me. I didn't know what to do. I tried to tell him it was okay. I tried to guess what had triggered this episode. I couldn't. I didn't know. I held him tight and just hugged him, all the while repeating "It's okay, it's okay." The crying and screaming continued. I finally found his pacifier nearby and that seemed to calm him. We sat there on the couch near his highchair, me hugging him tightly, rocking him while he worked on catching his breath and suddenly I had a meltdown. I couldn't help the tears from trickling down my face. So there I sat, sobbing. I felt helpless. My son was upset because he wanted something; something I couldn't figure out. He was bothered by something that I just didn't get. Something I missed. I hate that I can't help him at every difficult moment. I hate that I don't always understand him and know what he is trying to tell or show me. I hate that these moments take place; where my son is distraught and I am incapable of reading his little mind and making his distress go away.